Smile. You're On TV!

30 April 2009.

Jaago Re. The Lok Sabha election is upon us. And in case you were dozing, three sure shot election rituals to remind you its poll time. 

Ritual One.

Use of a phrase that is banished into oblivion between elections -“Pro Poor Policy”. Another PPP model much like the boring done to death sold by every public policy salesman in the 5 years between elections (the other PPP being the Public Private Partnership for the uninitiated). You’ll have business experts and policy experts and chat shows throwing this phrase around. Will we see “Pro Poor Policy”? Shouldn’t that be taken for granted? So a country who is below many sub Saharan African nations on the Human Development Index and has more people dying of starvation, malnutrition and pregnancy related illnesses than anywhere else on earth - if policy isn’t pro poor then it’ll be pro what? Pro Martians? Pro Item Song Performers? Pro Harrods shoppers? But see the beauty - it usually is pro Martians, and item number stars and corporate czars, so Pro Poor Policy is a term that’s fished out at election time for novelty value. “Pro Poor Policy” in the Indian context is like saying we will now consider “Wet Water” or better still a “Pro Water Fish” and “Pro flight aircraft”. As opposed to the anti water fish and the anti flight planes that we should be encountering ordinarily. And no one seems to get the irony of this “Pro Poor Policy” phrase as they spit it out with straight faces on TV. And no one smiles!

Ritual Two.

Dramatic sound effects. Music with lots of reverb and base - sort of like the climax of The Last Mohicans type film. SUDDENLY!

A face in three quarter profile. Not three quarter face but three quarter back of head with thinning mane. Slowly turns around. It’s frowning. Looking angry. Is it an advertisement for indigestion? Is it a show about dealing with urban stress and anger management? No wait. Grumpy gent is Election Expert or historian or someone very knowledgeable.

Voice over booms informing us of - The Most Formidable Election Team on TV or The Best Pollster or The Best Most Brilliant Genius who knows everything about everything brings you a special show with a grouchy face. Often arms folded over chest in a don’t mess with me pose.

Freeze frame. Timings of show at the bottom.

Why is a rotten face the sign of someone to be taken seriously? Cant a smiling face be insightful? I’d like to see a face that smiles and says  - “See.  I’m so happy because I know so much. I have so much knowledge and the truth sets you free. So I smile and tell you what a rotten electoral process this is but my mood and face isn’t.”  I like. Already I’m a fan.

There’s a difference in being an angry person and having anger in you. As they say (they being smart people who know it all) - Don’t be an angry person but never lose the anger within. A rotten face doesn’t mean you’ll be taken seriously. Be pleasant. You’re on TV. And no one smiles?

Ritual Three:

This one is high on the cute and precocious index. Many public awareness spots and messages telling you to vote. Which is great I think. I mean I’m all for making an informed decision and going out there and voting. Informed decision being the operative phrase. But some are just too supercilious. Like the Jaagore one. It informs you that if you aren’t voting you’re sleeping. Its great if you believe in a candidate. And I’d be the last to discourage anyone from voting. But if you don’t and all the options before you suck, it means “you are sleeping”, is going a bit far. But that’s exactly what two young boys hitting puberty with the first wisps of hair on their upper lips will have you believe. I’m sure there is much excitement and anticipation in the first kiss, the first drive the first vote and other firsts. But to think a person who doesn’t vote is sleeping and not as involved in the democratic process is a bit pompous. The message is apparently aimed at the middle and upper middle class who has the most miserable voting turnout.

So every five years this class watches the ads, gets charged up, wakes up stands in line and goes to sleep again. What do they do in the 5 years between? Swallow the same lies, bribe their way through each day, overlook and are often active accomplices to a corrupt and self-serving bureaucracy. Ever tried to get people involved in some campaign or drive or movement that requires them to do more than press a button on a holiday? Trust me in the five years between elections it’s not sleep, its comatose.

Now see I have a confession to make, I don’t vote. I haven’t for the last 2 terms. Of course between 1995 and 1999 I got a lot of action. Three times really fast one after the other as successive governments collapsed and mid term polls were held. And boy was I an enthusiastic voter then. I even remember my  - Oh so clever piece to camera as a reporter. “This is Abhinandan Sekhri Voting and Reporting…”  I chirped into the camera. No joke. Seriously.  That was my closing piece to camera from the polling booth. Line delivered effortlessly as I stuffed my ballot paper (No EVM machines then) into the ballot box and I had to get it right the first time because I couldn’t do a take two and stuff another ballot paper in. You weren’t allowed to cast more than one vote unless you were indulging in booth capturing. I just couldn’t get over my clever piece to camera. At least I smiled. Oh how I gloated. Just like the two frowning, fury filled boys telling a crowd and me that if we aren’t voting we are sleeping. But I’d rather be awake in the 5 years in between. So on polling day if I’m not voting I guess I’m sleeping. Well G’night then. Young lads, am sure you’d have changed the world when I wake up. And please then at least, someone smile. 

Pakistan Wins - Again.

Democracy wins! Pakistan Wins! Scream headlines and crawlers on TV. Pakistan has won so many times that the trophy case is running out of space. Another victory, another round of euphoria and dances in the streets with the same old steps. Six months or so ago Pakistan had “Won” defeating Gen. Parvez Musharraf. The people of Pakistan have been reduced to the same pattern - 6 months, 6 years, 6 decades and will in all likelihood be dancing in the streets when Mian Nawaz Sharif or Gillani or anyone else is booted and democracy is victorious once again. That’s because rulers have been changing in Pakistan the rules have not, but that may be enough for the dancers for now - Dil behlane ke liye Ghalib, ye khayal bhi acha hai.

Many make a big deal of the Taliban officially taking over Swat valley but was Benazir really much different from a Taliban Mullah? I recall my very first assignment as a researcher, we weren’t made reporters until we did our time in the doghouse back then. It was a story on the MQM (Muttuhida Quami Movement) and Altaf Hussain, its founder. As a researcher assigned to a reporter on that story (reporters had the luxury of having a researcher do all the reading and viewing and photo copying to filter through the clutter), I had to go through hours of footage of Pakistani leaders and pages of newsprint. As I was watching the nth speech/interview/byte on Umatic tapes, dozing off eyes glazed, a booming voice shook me awake. There on the monitor I see the Oxford and Harvard educated Benazir Bhutto in a crazed voice, breaking as she hits hysterical pitch, face contorting in contrived rage “Inki ragon mein khoon bhi alag rang ka hota hai” (Even the blood in their (Mohajirs or refugees) veins is of a different colour.) I was aghast since like most 20 year old public school educated trainee reporters (which was a rarity then and is the norm now) I used to assume that if the person spoke good English, dressed well and had a “good” education the person must have all desirable liberal virtues and conservative values and was on “our side”. That myth was busted over the years and alas, just like many blue blooded rajas in our own midst, the rulers of Pakistan remain as feudal in their mindset as any Mullah Omar no matter which continent they are sent to, to swap their white salwar kameez for a lawyers gown - if you’re the stereotype which is so often true its scary. So while many find it hard to swallow how the Pakistani quam can tolerate a Taliban over a PPP in the Swat Valley, it really isn’t that hard a choice. They aren’t very far from each other on the liberal-conservative spectrum.

It’s not polite to say this but must be said that Pakistan has time and again proved itself to be a barbaric and primitive society. The way it deals with its own issues of gender, poverty, landlessness, the ease with which privatization processes hand over public works to vested interests have all been indications of a short sighted archaic mindset. What is most tragic is even the “civil society” is civil in the Taliban and Hudood ordinance context. The Hudood ordinance is what decided rape cases until as late as 2006. The ordinance stated that if a woman accused a man of rape she must present 4 male witnesses of good character to have witnessed the act of penetration! That is correct, the brilliance of this ordinance is the assumption that 4 men of “good character” will stand by and watch a rape until the act of penetration (wouldn’t that make their character questionable? Catch 22?) And if the woman was unable to present 4 such witnesses she’d be tried for Zina (adultery) for which she can be imprisoned or stoned or beaten with lashes etc. And this is way before Taliban was on the radar. The Hudood ordinance was not toned down or struck off by the liberated Benazir Bhutto or savior of democracy Nawaz Sharif during their stints as Prime Minister. It was General Parvez Musharraf who through the Women’s Protection Bill made it possible for rapists to be tried by civil laws. But Pakistan is liberated from his clutches after the last victory (before the one this week). And there is the Lion of Punjab, Mian Sahib with a brand new mane who is the symbol of Jamooriyat. Shava!

It’s not about a leader or two, in nations with huge economic and social disparities, the elite and privileged of a nation will determine its direction. Its not Pakistan’s politicians but the countries entire elite that has failed their nation completely. Even in their self indulgent Oh we fight for Pakistan belief they continue to fight to retain their aristocratic ways and this process has repeated itself over years. Pakistan winning again and again and again.

Prof Jared Diamond, one of the world’s leading evolutionary biologist and anthropologist has a hypothesis of why societies collapse. His study is applicable in a much longer term but is relevant in the medium term too. Based on a detailed study of societies around the world down the ages from the Greenland Norse to Somalia and Rwanda, he has listed 5 things that determine a society’s collapse.

- Human impact on environment.
- Climate change (man made or otherwise)
- Relations with neighboring friendly societies that may prop up a society.
- Relations with hostile societies that may hasten the demise.
- The political and cultural factors such as the interests of the decision-making elite and the rest of society.

It is only the first and last items on that checklist that are within a nation’s or society’s immediate control. The political and cultural factors refer to a conflict or contradiction between the short term interests of the decision making elite and long term interest of the society in general. On that front Pakistan has failed again and again and I have no doubt will continue to unless there is a revolutionary change. The Taliban in that sense is a step forward. The invisible is now visible. For the people who want real change in Pakistan it’s easier to fight the Kalashnikov wielding menacing looking militant and appear righteous in doing so rather than taking on a sophisticated English speaking educated elite with a primitive mindset. That’s a tricky adversary who can make you look bad. And in this - opinion formed by fleeting images times, you cant look bad to an international audience. For those who think the Chief Justice’s re-instatement and Lion Nawaz of the new flowing mane will change things in any way. Don’t hold your breath.

If we look at Indian politics and society do we see some similarities? Maybe more than we’d like to acknowledge. We are still not too far down that path and can correct our course, and with elections round the corner one has the chance to do so.