29 October 2008

Hello Beautiful! Looking Gorgeous! Vaant Lift Baby?

27 September 2008.
Hah! Move over boring old policy wogs. Asif Awesome Ali Zmooth Zardari, has made the world and USA sit up and take notice of him. Yes ladies and gentleman the charmer par excellence sweeps Sensual Sarah Palin the Republican VP candidate off her feet with a – “Looking gorgeous, now we know why America loves you so much. I can give you another hug if the photographer wants.” A rakish grin and a twirl to that mustache then. Shava Asif! Shava!

And other such priceless clinchers have helped Asif Ali Zardari pull off a foreign policy coup. And Pakistan is great at pulling off coups - foreign policy or not, Baby!

Hah! Albela Asif laughs in the face of dull bespectacled (unless the spectacles are rimless titanium Kazuo Kawasaki’s 704 series that Sarah Palin has made fashionable) foreign relation experts mouthing pedantic drivel with strange stiff accents about paving the way for increased co-operation and mutually beneficial blah di blah. Not this Smooth Sophisticated Sindhi. He makes that extra effort when it comes to cementing foreign relations, at least 10% extra effort. Baby!

Hah! Asif the Artful Aristocratic sneers as nuclear deals are struck and polite and servile fawners marvel at their luck. This is Pakistani politics baby and this is how they do it. In that land of feudal chiefs and politicians prone to primitiveness, protocol is nothing unless its proto-cool, Congress is nothing unless its Con-grace, an official tour is nothing unless its official too-her, white house briefs are nothing! Pakistan’s able and graceful President is rewriting the rules of engagement here. Baby!

Hah!! Asif the Awesome Azam-e-quaid (or something like that) welcomes you to the new face of international relations. Awesome Asif would like to ignore those who say that no one really wants change in Pakistan. No one who matters that is, which is about 500 families who play musical chairs, oppose each other every now and then, make a few visits to jail until they are back living the life and doing their bit to keep status-quo in the larger context. More on that as all go clubbing, Baby! This is how foreign relation type business things are done. This is a long way from going clubbing not so long ago where clubs were carried and a strike out was a good thing. The new style is quite more fun for both parties though, the old way clubbing left the shoulders of men sore and first aid requirement for ladies in case of a too hard strike to the head was inconvenient. But Steely Sinewy Sindhi is more progressive than you imagine, Baby!

Hah!! The Flamboyant Phenomenon of Progressive Pakistan is all set to charm not only Slightly Surprised Sarah but also Market Mantra Memorizing Manmohan. He is his biggest fan he says.  But Annoyed Asif’s magical magnificence does not seem to be working on the Sturdy Sardar because the Radical Reformer has eyes only for a Texan’s Trot and not the Sindhi’s Swagger. The Mild Mannered Manmohan Singh clinching a historic deal that will enable India to go clubbing with the exclusive nuclear club, always the gentleman is subtle and understated in his flirtation with Darn Dashing Dubya as he says bashfully - that all Indians love George Bush very much.

Of course we do – I’ll just get my club. Vaant lift baby?

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