Not in My Name

21 December 2007.

“Its because of my colour innit!” That’s the pet line of the paranoid, hysterical Desi character played by Sanjeev Bhaskar on Goodness Gracious Me the sketch comedy produced by the BBC. The Eddie Murphy film Boomerang too, had this character Tyler (played by Martin Lawrence) who sees racism in everything - even a game of pool. “Why does the white ball knock the black ball into the pocket to finish the game? Huh? Huh? Huh? And if the white ball happens to fall into the pocket it’s a foul! My brotha you telling me that’s not racism Huh? Huh? Huh?”

It’s really quite funny. But then when Barry W. Blaustein and David Sheffield wrote the screenplay they were trying to be funny. Ratan Tata and Kamal Nath aren’t.  In fact I suspect they are deadly serious when they cry racism when Orient Express Hotels feels their brand image would be eroded if they tie up with Tata’s Indian Hotels. “You saying Indian business not good enough, its because of my colour, innit? Huh? Huh? Huh?” Somewhat similar to what the respected and honourable Laxmi Mitttal cried when Arcelor turned its nose up at his takeover bid.

Then too the ever-vigilant upholder of India’s dignity Kamal Nath rose to the occasion and cried foul.

Of course one of the most under-reported statements at the time was the Arcelor chairman saying that it’s not about race but a style of doing business. The fact that he would not dream of putting his 24 year old son on the board of Arcelor and Mr. Mittal would. It’s just something that’s not done in their work culture and I can see why someone would look at it with contempt. That’s a trait of India business but it’s not an insult to Indian-ness. But even the over zealous Indian news channels didn’t think that statement was worthy of being looped and played. Instead we had our honourable Commerce minister and Manmohan Singh’s statements played back-to-back upholding our dignity. Yea! Lucky us. Its coz of our colour innit?

Finally Mittal won but it was not because of ethnic, ethical or moral grounds. It was money and the share price offered, the market decided as it does.

If someone blows Tatas of the Mittals off I certainly don’t take it as an insult to my Indian-ness. This third world under confidence is alive and kicking in big business even if it’s somewhat declined lower down the pecking order.

The problem with Indians like Tata and Mittal is that they whine when convenient and strut callously at other times. The swiftness and enthusiasm with which Kamal Nath sprung to the defense of Tata’s and Mittals making it an Indian issue deserves a pat on the back but when it came to protecting the dignity or sense of justice of the lives lost in the union Carbide gas leak (now purchased by Dow Chemicals) in Bhopal the same Mr. Nath and the underdog Indian industrialist Rattan Tata were in fact lobbying for Dow chemicals (not Indian) to be off the hook. (Have a look at the correspondence revealed through an RTI application available online). It’s because of their colour, innit?

Depending on which estimate you choose to believe between 15,000 to 22,000 people died as a result of the Bhopal Gas tragedy in 1984. What is accepted by all is that it was the worst industrial disaster in human history. Justice is still awaited in that case. The warriors of India’s dignity in the Tata-Orient scrap want Dow to be cleared of the liability of Union Carbide that the Supreme Court has slapped. SO the Bhopal Gas tragedy victims can hang in limbo for another two decades. They’re only Indian lives after all. Not like they would’ve got any FDI in. It’s the colour of their money innit?

You see it’s not possible to purchase the respect of an outsider when there is a lack of respect for ones own people. Others will treat “your people” that includes you based on how you treat your people. If Dow chemicals dollars are dearer to you than justice for over 20,000 affected by the worst industrial disaster in history you really think others will respect you or your brand? Its like the token minority face of Shahnazawaz Hussain or Mukhtar Abbas Naqwi defending a Modi after the 2002 riots and expecting to be respected by either their own community or another. It just won’t happen.

There must be a consistency in action. People aren’t blind. They’re just convenient. They may look the other way and not acknowledge the warts for a while but they will make an issue of those very warts at other times.

So dear Mr. Tata, do your thing, make your acquisition but not in my name, its not an “India vs. foreign thing”. It’s a corporate negotiation and keep it there. Let patriotism not be the last refuge of the corporation.

Its as hysterical as me saying – “I know why Tata’s are making a 1 lakh rupee car for us desis while they want tie ups with Jaguar and Land Rover overseas. Its coz of my colour innit? It’s got nothing to do with purchasing power or market trend. The one lakh rupee car is a racist slur innit?”

Indian scientists recently discovered some fossils and deduced that the whale originated in India. From a land mammal it evolved into an ocean dweller. So the whale is Indian actually. All these years the Norwegians and their harpoons, the Japanese and their fleets hunting these gentle giant ocean dwelling Indian, racism I say!! Come Ratan Tata back me. Mr. Nath teach the Norwegians a lesson. Save an Indian, ban whaling.

Sound paranoid. Yup!! I should calm down, as should Mr. Nath and Tata and co. It’s not your colour, it’s deeper than that, innit?